Besides stepping us their attacks on Democrats’ political opponents in the last year, the increasingly woke FBI is reportedly descending to the level of the infantile for work events. According to several former FBI agents and whistleblowers, the agency is planning fun events for on-duty employees including office yoga (you don’t have to leave your chair!), painting, and coloring with crayons. Thank goodness adults are in charge of the country, right?
FBI whistleblower Steve Friend went on fellow FBI whistleblower Kyle Seraphin’s podcast March 31 to discuss the ridiculous FBI events for which he provided a screenshot on Twitter. Seraphin said FBI Human Resources and Security executive Jennifer Moore, who suspended both Seraphin and Friend, is like a crazy kindergarten teacher. She certainly appears to be under the impression that FBI agents are kindergartners.
Planned events for the FBI Security Division for April and May to enhance “health and wellness” reportedly include “National Walking Day,” which involves a “short walk” so you can “get to know your colleagues” and return with “a renewed sense of productivity.” Next is “Office Yoga,” which involves “a series of simple movements to strengthen and stretch the whole body while seated in a chair.” A desk jockey’s dream! Then there’s “Lunch and Coloring,” a “fun series of coloring sessions” to showcase “your colleagues’ artistic sides,” with supplies provided. Finally, there’s “National Creativity Day,” also an opportunity to “unleash your creativity” in a “painting class.” Makes you feel good your taxes pay these people’s salaries, doesn’t it?
What do any of these events have to do with being better FBI agents, you ask? I guess it relaxes agents after chasing down parents who attend school board meetings, pro-life protestors, or Trump allies. It’s so stressful being a political hack.
”This is paid FBI employees on duty doing this, correct?” asked Seraphin. Friend replied in the affirmative. Seraphin said he knew the leaked agenda was real not only because of his experience with the FBI, but because another former FBI agent, who chimed in from off-screen, noted that this is not the first time the agency has given its employees coloring books and crayons to “color away the stress.” As Seraphin put it, “Your FBI employees are spending their time on duty to just relieve the stress of being a highly paid, underworked government employee by coloring or finger-painting.”
Both Friend and Seraphin mocked the FBI by discussing other potential “activities,” like glue-eating. “These are not serious people. They are charged with — supposedly — monitoring whether or not folks like you and I are worthy of having top security clearances,” Friend commented to Seraphin. Instead of doing the “work of the American people,” FBI employees are playing with crayons.
After a hard day of violating civil liberties, suppressing evidence of Biden family crimes, destroying exculpatory evidence, targeting Catholics, suppressing free speech, encouraging citizens to turn in their “extremist” relatives, violating the right to privacy, and rounding up dissidents, what better way to unwind than playing with crayons and a coloring book.
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