Ashton Kutcher’s Speech at the Teen Choice Awards: A Lesson in Life

Once in a while a Hollywood denizen has a moment of lucidity. This is one of those.

“…First of all I don’t have a career without you guys, I don’t get to do the things without you. Um you know I thought that you…I thought it might be interesting, in Hollywood in the things we do, there are a lot of insider secrets to keeping your career going and a lot of insider secrets to making things tick. And uh, I feel like a fraud. My name is actually not even Ashton, Ashton is my middle name. My first name’s Chris. And it always has been it got changed when I was 19 when I became an actor. But there were some really amazing things I learned when I was Chris. And I wanted to share those with you guys because I think it’s helped me be here today.

So it’s really three things;

the first thing is about opportunity,

the second thing is about being sexy,

and the third thing is about living life.

So first opportunity: I believe that opportunity looks a lot like hard work. When I was 13 I had my first job with my dad carrying shingles up to the roof. And then I got a job washing dishes at a restaurant, and then I got a job in a grocery store deli, and then I got a job in a factory sweeping cheerio dust off the ground. And I never had a job in my life that I was better than. I was always just lucky to have a job. And every job I had was just a stepping stone to my next job, I never quit my job until I had my next job. So opportunity look a lot like work.

Number 2, being sexy. The sexist thing in the entire world, is being really smart…and being thoughtful, and being generous. Everything else, is crap. I promise you. It’s just crap that people try to sell to you to make you feel like less…so don’t buy it! Be smart. Be thoughtful. And be generous.

The third thing is something I just relearned when I was making this movie about Steve Jobs. And Steve Jobs said when you grow up, you tend to get told that the world is the way that it is, and that your life is to live your life inside the world, and try not to get in too much trouble, and maybe get an education, and get a job, make some money, have a family. But life can be a lot broader than that when you realize one simple thing, and that is everything around us, that we call life, were made up by people that were no smarter than you. And you can build your own things. You can build your own life that other people can live in. So build a life. Don’t live one, build one. Find your opportunities, and always be sexy (points to the head.) I love you guys.”

Now, compare that with food stamp surfer dude:

Or these welfare queens:

I wonder if those screaming little pre-pubescents actually grasped what he told them.

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