I Want to be an Illegal Alien, With All the Benefits

Since illegals are getting so much support from liberals for their efforts to become U.S. dependents at taxpayers’ expense, I have a few demands of my own.
I want to cross into a foreign country, without any documents,  and get welcomed with open arms by an accommodating government.
I want to live—free gratis— in a big hacienda at an exclusive Mexican resort. Cabo San Lucas would be nice.
I want the Mexican government to feed and clothe me, pay my bills, and give me a house keeper and a landscaper to maintain the property. I also want the Mexican government to give me a sizable payment each month—in dollars, not pesos— so I can splurge for all of the family members I plan on inviting. (That chain migration thing) That would be a fair exchange for all of the tax money that I’ve paid for their unearned benefits.
Or I can give one of those illegal alien apologists a taste of their own “open borders” medicine. Since there are so many La Raza sycophants out there who think it’s perfectly okay for illegals to enter the country in direct violation of U.S. Code Title 8, sections 1324, 1325, and other immigration laws,  and have no problem with them squatting on private property, I have a proposition to make.
I’ll pose as a foreigner, bring over some friends and relatives to your place, and camp out in your yard. We’ll use your toilet, shower, and laundry, and raid your refrigerator when we get hungry. We’ll plop our asses down in your living room (I hope you have some recliners) to watch your cable T.V.
If one of us gets injured or sick, you can take us to the nearest hospital and bill your insurance for any treatment we need. Make sure you pick us up when we need to come “home”.
Some of my relatives with large families will drop off their children for you to take care of. You can also register them for school and pay for their lunches, since illegals can sponge off the educational system without paying for it.
Don’t like the idea of uninvited guests? Go ahead and complain or try to evict us. We’ll sue for civil rights we aren’t entitled to, and we’ll probably win since the Democrats are so open to our demands.
By the way, I’m sure you won’t mind paying higher taxes to finance our American dream.
Mi Casa, Su Casa. Right , Amigo?

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