Taki’s Magazine on the DNC Convention Circus: An Overdose of Hope

Pointed, humorous commentary from Taki’s Magazine.

The Democrats are done weaving their web in Charlotte, and wow, what a web it was—an intricate lattice of multicolored Silly String that included everyone and said nothing.

Did you know that Democrats like the blacks? And the Hispanics? And the gays? And women? We didn’t know that. Now we do.

Did you know the Democrats have a plan to make the next four years better than the last four? Really? We didn’t. And after watching their convention, we still don’t.

……We’ve all moved forward out of the Stone Age and progressed as a society to the point where black men can make death threats against Barack Obama, Hispanic female delegates feel unafraid to say they want to kill Mitt Romney, and everyone’s cool with it! Because politics is all about being cool. As actor Kal “Kumar” Penn—whose nose is buried so far up Obama’s ass that it’s sticking out of his mouth—enthused from the convention sidelines, he “felt like it was cool to be engaged in politics” the first time he laid his fawning brown eyes upon Barack Obama. What a cool thing to say!

…….Severely included were the Hispanics, or the Latinos, or the Chicanos, or the illegal aliens, or whatever those diminutive scamps are calling themselves these days. Speedy Gonzalez’s cousin delivered a heart-wrenching speech about the DREAM Act. Then the Frito Bandito’s mother spoke movingly about how she swam the Rio Grande with her small son hidden safely beneath one of her sagging breasts. The Taco Bell Chihuahua, Señor Wences, and José Jiménez all delivered speeches entirely in Spanish. And none of it—no, NONE of it, you racist!—constituted racial pandering.This year’s DNC was so gay that Freddie Mercury cried pink tears from heaven. A video was shown that, ten seconds in, demonstrated how society could benefit from attending a congenial LGBT potluck dinner. A young man named Zack Wahls gave a speech about being raised by lesbian parents, which is one of the most dire and pressing issues currently facing this country. Barney Frank slobbered all over the mic about his gay marriage because gay marriage affects all of us, even though it doesn’t really affect many of us at all.

The DNC convention provided no shortage of union thugs, idolatry, race-baiting, pandering, censoring of certain radio talk shows, a parade of freaks, and spinning Obama’s lies into compost.

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