A Sharia Game for Kids

Indocrtination happens at a young age for muslims.

Been harassed by hardline religious police? Been arrested for holding hands with your own spouse?
I have.
Now our children can share these exciting experiences with a board game inspired by Sharia law.

Just take home a copy of Good Game, a genuine board game introduced to me by reader Isman Suryaman from Indonesia. After a few rounds, your kids will be cute little Asian extremists.

Open the box and you’ll find a board and counters, just like Monopoly. But instead of landing on squares named after properties, children land on circles representing good deeds or bad ones.

The language of the game is Bahasa Indonesian, so you may first land on olahraga (“sport”) and win 10 points. But it’s even better if you land on menjaga kebersihan (“cleanliness”) and net 20 points. Smart children quickly learn to avoid sport and take long baths to amass points faster.

As the kids go around the board, there are certain spaces which tell them to pick up cards from the middle, like the “Chance” cards in Monopoly.

If any child picks up a card which says Kafir! (“Heathen!”) they immediately lose their faith and go straight to hell, without having to die first. The last player in the game wins, so the heathen cards encourage children to pray that friends and family members go to hell soon.

But watch out, kids: there are some other very bad cards in the Chance pile. The worst is membunuh orang (“You murder some guy”). Kill a man and you get a score of minus 1,000. That significantly lowers your place on the scoreboard.

But the next card one of the kids picks up has a picture of a boy and girl sitting shyly next to each other on a bench with pink love hearts hovering over them. This looks like a positive card, but it isn’t -oh no-no-no-no-no. The game makers reckon pecaran (“courting”) is an extremely grave sin. At minus 500 points per occasion, this card teaches children that experiencing two momentary crushes is equivalent to committing one murder.


This is no joke. Check out the link, www.vittachi.com to see the pictures of this ‘game’.

Isn’t that wonderful? You what would really be great? If Milton Bradley came up with a new version of Stratego that awards points for killing these Islamofascist thugs with M4s, M203s, Strykers, M1 Abrams, 500lbs MOABs, or whatever happens to be in the arsenal.

With extra credit points for creativity, such as burying the leftover body parts with pig entrails.

Actually, we ‘ve been playing Statego for real on the muslim’s own turf, except for the ‘creativity’ part, and Mohammad’s running out of virgins.

Allah U Fuckbar.

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