Take Your “Stay Safe, Stay Home” Mantra and Shove It

Courtney Kirchoff

Everywhere I read, everywhere I go (oh yes, I still go), I’m lectured with the message “stay safe, stay home.” Of all the obnoxious, patronizing phrases to emerge from the Era of COVID — and there have been many —”stay safe, stay at home” has been the most egregious. How I lead my life is not determined by a committee of flustering busybodies who adhere to unconstitutional decrees made under the guise of “safety.”

So take your “stay safe, stay home” mantra and shove it up the closest rectum. You’ve got plenty of toilet paper, it shouldn’t be that hard.

Some disclaimers for the aforementioned busybody snitches who bridle at the thought someone would dare stray from safety. I’m not encouraging foolish risk for the sake of it. But a life free of risk is both impossible and no life at all. We cannot bubble wrap ourselves and claim to care about our existence. Furthermore, those who demand we conform to their orders for “our safety” are not issuing those orders for our safety at all, but are gauging our degree of compliance.

I haven’t complied. I won’t comply. I still do not own a mask and any business demanding I wear one is a business that doesn’t want my patronage.

For those hate-pecking their fingers insisting I “want old people to die,” may I introduce you to the concept of personal responsibility. The idea is simple, but take notes if you must: assess your risk to reward ratio and make personal decisions for yourself rather than imposing your fears onto the rest of us. So if you’re binge-watching CNN and are terrified of the WuHuFlu, then bubble wrap yourself and stay at home with only the digital image of Brian Stelter to comfort you. Lysol all that is to enter your house, including people. Do what you feel you must to “stay safe, stay healthy, and stay home.” Fine. Your body, your choice. Just do not tell the rest of us to do the same. By the way, that’s probably how this whole “pandemic” should’ve gone down. Not shutting the world off, just letting people take care of themselves and letting the chips fall where they may. I know, I know, what a heartless heathen I am. I guess “rights” is just a word we throw around to feel American.

COVID-19 is a virus which seems to have about the same fatality rate of the seasonal flu. Sorry to all you science deniers who have your masked-faced heads shoved down sand holes not on public California beaches. For most of us, the seasonal flu is part of life. We’re willing to take the risk of contracting the seasonal flu every time we board a plane, enter a building, touch a surface, meet with others, go to work, go to school, and basically live rather average lives. And yet, when 60k people died of seasonal flu, no chyron graphic mourned them. Life, as they say, went on.

Exactly.